HBM Reviews: Mortal Kombat

DEAR. FUCKING. LORD. I'm so unmotivated to do this since I just got the 3DS... whatever, I'll just get it over with... AHEM...

Alright, so this is probably the best PS3 game of 2011. Why? I'll tell you why. 'Cuz if I don't tell you why, you won't know why...

Okay, this is gonna be really half-assed, so sorry if you're disappointed or I seem unenthusiastic, but read the thing above the pic...

If you read my Punch-Out review, you should know my rules by now for these things: Plot, characters, gameplay, music, extras, overall rating. Now let's do this thing!

You're gonna lose at least 10 times to this dick, I guarantee it.
Okay, so the story is actually really well done, unlike recent MK games (I'm looking at you, Armageddon...). Basically, at the end of Armageddon, Shao Khan ended up killing everybody and is beating the fuck out of Raiden. So the Thunder God sends some kryptic messages to his past self from MK1, and we get to see an altered version of the events of MK1 - UMK3. I don't wanna spoil much else, but expect your favorite character to die. Overall, a pretty solid story, minus some retarded choices the characters make.

Rating: 9/10


All of 'em. Minus Kratos, DLC, and bosses.
Yeah, so everyone from MK1 - UMK3 is in this game, plus Quan Chi, Cyber Sub Zero, and, in the PS3 version, Kratos. Goro, Kintaro, and Shao Khan are unplayable bosses and Motaro isn't available anywhere. At all. Ever. So stop asking. This is the best roster an MK game's seen since... well, UMK3!

Rating: 10/10

Round 1. FIGHT!
The controls are pretty standard: The 4 central command buttons each control a limb. R1 performs a throw, L1 switches you out with your tag partner, if any. R2 blocks, L2 switches your stance. On the bottom of the screen is a Super Meter. One bar on it will let you use an Enhanced Special Move if you press R2 while using a Special Move. Two bars gives you a Combo Breaker if you press R2 while the opponent's performing a combo. L2 + R2 uses an X-Ray move when the Super Meter's completely filled up. These are some pretty awesome controls in my book.

The gameplay modes are Arcade Ladder (defeat all enemies), Challenge Tower (Complete 300 missions), Test Your Might(Strength Gathering minigame), Test Your Sight(Shell Game minigame), Test Your Strike(Strength Concentration minigame), Test Your Luck(use slots to see how you fight), Versus Mode(only available in Multiplayer, self explanatory), and Online(fight others online). Just enough modes, I think.

Rating: 10/10

Couldn't get any other good pics for this part. Sue me.
All the music in this game, except for certain menu music, is for the most part, remixes of the classic music from the old games. If you go on the Courtyard (Day) stage, you'll hear a remix of the MK1 Courtyard theme. Unfortunately, the music's always overshadowed by every other sound EVER. IF you don't like the remixes, when you're in Versus Mode, you can just use a code to make the music turn into it's original form. Pretty nice addition.

Rating: 9.5/10

Goddammit, this place is creepy!
Yeah, so you can go to the Krypt/Store to buy concept art, fatality codes, alternate costumes, and music for the gallery/Nekropolis. Most of this is redundant since if you beat Arcade Mode with someone's normal costume, you get their alternate and if you know the code, you don't need to buy it since it saves itself onto your move list. Also, the Krypt has that FUCKING SCREAMER in it that can show up more than once, so it loses MAJOR points (Sorry, MK). If you beat Challenge Tower, though, you get Mileena's sexy 3rd costume, so there's that.

Rating: 5/10

So, this game basically is the best PS3 game of 2011. Sure, it has shitty extras AND THAT FUCKING SCREAMER, but hey, at least everything else is kickass, right?

Overall Rating: 8.7/10

Yeah, so I'm sorry it took me a fuckin' month to pump that out, but fuck it, the review's up now, so shut your fuckin' dick about it. Next week, I give my thoughts on the 3DS. HBM, Signing Out.

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