3/20/2012

HBM's Top 10 Stupidest Bleach Moments

Hello, people who have the time to read this! Bleach is obviously one of the best shows ever. But there are some moments that can be... stupid. I mean, really stupid. Like, they make you think "Did that really just happen?" or "Am I high?" These are the Top 10 moments like that.

#10: Haineko Groping Tobiume

*insert nosebleed emoticon here*
In an episode that I didn't cover, Haineko and Tobiume are in the forest in the Soul Society, bickering like usual. This time in particular, they're arguing over what men really want. Tobiume says we don't want trashy sluts, and Haineko says we want those bods. She then GROPES TOBIUME to prove how flat she is, therefore, by her logic, we wouldn't want her. It's just... wow. Didn't know she swung that way. I'd be willing to take both though. Maybe at the same time! :D

#9: The Menos Forest Mini-Arc

"I have a great idea! Let's waste time on needless filler that's supposed to loosely tie into the story!"
This was really pointless. Did we really need a 5 or 6 episode delay before we got to Dordonii, Cirucci, Gantenbaine, Aaronierro, and Szayel Aporro? Also, apparently, this shit was supposed to be in the manga, Fuck that.

#8: The Bount Arc

These are vampires. Wat.
I don't need to talk about this. We all know how shitty this was.

#7: Keigo's Sister's Crush on Ikkaku

I couldn't find a picture of BishIkkaku. Sorry.
This was back in the Arrancar Arc, about half the show ago. Time flies, huh? Anyway, Ikkaku and Yumichika were forced to stay with Keigo because they needed a place to stay. After Ikkaku defeated Edorad Liones (bet you don't remember him), Keigo brought him home to his sister to let them stay. Turns out his sister... has a thing for bald guys. WAT. So, I guess wacky anime crush antics ensue.

#6: Episode 227

WHY?!
Why did we need to see this? Does anyone really give a shit how these guys became friends? Because I don't! I liked assuming Keigo and Ichigo had wacky antics as toddlers, dammit! Filler can suck my dick. And speaking of dicks...

#5: Where Pesche Keeps His Zanpakuto

Keep your throbbing black cock to yourself, perv!
Why?! Why would you keep a sword in your loincloth?! And why would you pull it out like that?! GAH!!! At least it leads to a slightly funny moment where they have to censor what he says with a generic screen.

#4: Konso Cop Karakuraizer

...This is Bleach, right?
Did they have to give us a terrible Super Sentai parody in place of 2 normal episodes? I don't even watch Super Sentai! This is the closest thing to that shit I've gotten to watching since the Ginyu Force. At least the 2nd part has the best Recap section EVAR and that lesbo Chizuru raping the arrancar chick.

#3: Any Pointless Hiatus's in the English Dub

The reaction anyone with even the tiniest bit of a brain had to this bullshit.
What was the point of these breaks?! Was it because we were catching up with the Japanese version too quickly? TOUGH SHIT! Just go back to 1 episode a week! Fuck that, and it better not happen again!

Well, that applies to the first break (between Hueco Mundo Pt. 1 and Amagai), but at the time of this edit (about 1/31/13), we were just given a 2 month hiatus after the death of Baraggan for no good fucking reason! WHY?! The anime ended in Japan months ago (see further down for my thoughts on that)!

#2: Charlotte Chuhlhournne

Be glad I didn't use a picture of his resurreccion...
I shouldn't need to explain. Seriously. If you don't know why, go watch both episodes he appears in (Episodes 216 and 217).

#1: Anything That Has To Do With The Amagai Arc

Fuck this guy. Not literally.
Seriously, this arc was bullshit. The Kasumioji Clan? Bullshit. The focus on Squad 3? Bullshit. The Bakottos? Actually kind of cool, but they were part of this arc, which is BULLSHIT! The characters are terrible, Amagai's excuse is flimsy, and barely any of the arc had to do with Amagai! The only good part of this arc was the theme song, Chu-Bara! And it turns out that not even later filler is safe from the terribleness that is this arc! That's right, Rurichiyo, Kenryu, and Enryu show up for 2 more filler episodes for no reason other than to piss us off! UGH!

Well, those were the stupidest moments in Bleach in my opinion. Tomorrow is my review of MGS: HD Collection and later in the week, I'll put up my Top 10 Favorite Soul Reapers.

HBM, Signing Out!

EDIT: Around the time I posted this list, the anime adaptation of Bleach was canceled to make room for a spin-off of Naruto, Rock Lee's Springtime of Youth. Consider that #0, because seriously, nobody gives a shit about Rock Lee.

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