Bleach Recaps: Ep 256: I'm BAAAAAACK~!

Hey, guys! I'm finally back to recapping episodes of Bleach! I mean, considering that Muramasa has finally died, the now previous arc is over! Therefore, I'm back to doing this!

Just to bring you up to speed, Muramasa was bullshitting us about killing his master, most of the Zanpakuto died and were resurrected as good guys at the last second, and Muramasa's master Koga is an asshole who, for some reason, has the same exact voice as Grimmjow. Now all the Zanpakutos are back to being swords and everyone is clearly going to forget that this ever happened! We're finally back to actual stuff happening! YAY!

Oh yeah, and the show is now rated PG for some reason. There's now barely any swearing or blood. And it's not just because Toonami's back (and more hardcore than ever), it's been like this for at least a month or 2. WAT.
Before we properly begin, I have to address the most recent opening song, Anima Rossa. A vast improvement of that piece of shit, Shojo S. I'm gonna be upset when its time is up. Well, onto the episode! 

Wait a minute, they're celebrating the defeat of Muramasa? Oh well, I know I'm celebrating the return of an actual plot. The Kuchiki clan is holding this hootenanny to celebrate the facts that a: The Zanpakuto's are back and b: they're more financially lucky than the rest of the 13 Court Guard Squads, as their estate is already repaired by bullshit explanation. Renji ignores Rukia's explanation like the rest of us probably are, and she goes back to her room only to hear screams. Turns out generic monsters are crashing the party! ...Wait, what?!

The fuck are these things?!
Oh well, I'll just assume they're filler Hollows, because clearly, they couldn't be anything else. Turns out Rukia has her Dumbass level especially high today as she FORGOT HER ZANPAKUTO AND DOESN'T EVEN USE KIDO TO DEFEND HERSELF! Well, this does seem to be random generic filler, so this is to be expected. But suddenly, out of the blue, coming to save Rukia is... wait, what the-?!

Okay, obviously, this was meant to be an April Fool's episode in Japan, but it aired too late in the US. Okay, I'm in on this joke then, as long as no other Zanpauto show u-

Why are you teasing us like this, Kubo?! Why do we have to deal with 4 months of meaningless filler, then when it seems like it's over, YOU PULL THIS BULLSHIT?!?!

Well... I'm going to have to deal with this. Okay... so it turns out the Zanpakuto never explicitly said they were returning to sword form permanently, and... that's it. Yup... that's the explanation. Nothing important, just "WE DOTN WANNA BE SODRDS DOODZ." Fuck this mess.

Okay, so one of the monsters is killed and turned into a sword, but the other gets away. Byakuya shows up and the four go to Mayuri, who's just as pissed as the rest of us that this shit is going on. He says that these monsters are "Sword Demons," Zanpakuto that went insane and killed their masters after being manifested. Apparently, these things have been showing up all over the place lately, and have the strength of a Bankai. Okay, that's just great. We now have Sword Demons who are apparently as strong as BANKAIS invading the Soul Society. Because Muramas wasn't enough. Also, I think Mayuri's even more off his meds than usual, because before his scene ends, he makes... this face.

Okay, so now Rukia, Senbonzakura, and Sodenoshirayuki are walking down the streets, thinking of ways to draw out the Sword Demons. Senbon recommends destroying buildings to bring it out, and Rukia's obviously against this. Then Shirayuki says they should FREEZE THE AREA INSTEAD SO THEY CAN PRESERVE THE BUILDINGS. Why the fuck are these two suddenly genocidal retards?! They were a couple of my favorite of the spirits before, but now... Jesus, man!

That's when Shirayuki suggests her final idea, because hey, third time's the charm. And guess what it is. Go on, you'll never guess. Ready? Okay. Her plan is... a party.

Okay, I've lost all hope for this episode. Bringing the Zanpakuto back to being good guys just made them all obnoxious retards. Well, except Haineko. She just acts the same as always. But how I like 'em. DAMN, she's fine!

Okay, so everyone but Rukia and Shirayuki drinks, including Senbonzakura, and has a jolly good time when Hitsugaya shows up, pissed about this, just like any rational person. However, he approves of it, just because he wants everyone to unwind. Rangiku approaches him, apparently shit-faced after only 2 minutes of drinking, and they wander off.

We cut to later that night with Rukia and Shirayuki, where Shirayuki's being emo over Muramasa brainwashing her. Rukia holds her hand and that makes things better, somehow. However, before they can continue their lesbian bonding, the Sword Demon from earlier shows up! Time for actual fighting!

The Sword Demon attacks the girls by spinning around like a top, and both girls just attack it normally. It seems to die from a single Tsukishiro, but breaks free and injures Rukia with some faint scratches on her arm. Hey, remember when this show had blood splashing form every wound and people would vomit gallons of blood from every injury? Can we go back to that?!

I mean seriously, the fuck?!
Anyway, Shirayuki turns back into a sword for Rukia to use, she uses Hakuren, and somehow, that defeats the Sword Demon. So much for Bankai-like strength, huh?! Must have been a weak-ass Soul Reaper!

We now cut to Rukia and Shirayuki talking to Kyoraku and Ukitake about said demon, which Mayuri is ecstatic about. Anyway, I didn't catch the rest of the conversation, thanks to Sogyo no Kotowari being a couple of loud, annoying pricks. Even Ukitake tells them to shut up! And... that's where we end.

Jesus, why do we still have to deal with this filler?! And why did it have to be the one episode without even a single second of Ichigo outside the opening?! He's always amazing as an audience surrogate in situations like this, so why not now?! God, I need something to take my mind away from this. Hello, Kid Icarus Uprising; goodbye 5 hours of my life!

HBM, signing out!

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