6/13/2012

Bleach Recaps: Ep. 257: BOOBS!!!

Well, the week before last, we all had an unpleasant surprise when we turned on our TVs for Toonami, which is more awesome than ever, to find that Bleach's Zanpakuto Filler Arc had not yet ended, even though the obvious antagonist has just died forever. Then, when those of us who could still stomach the next month or so of filler were able to watch this last weekend's episode, we were rewarded with CLEAVAGE TITS!!! Oh, I love how anime filler makes anything possible.

Sadly, this does not fill up the entirety of the episode. The writers were trying to have a plot, and failing at it, just like with the even more terrible Amagai and Bount arcs. *shudder* However, unlike those two pieces of shit, I was able to actually watch this episode without cringing, so there's that.

We begin with some generic construction workers somehow sensing a Beast Sword. But enough of that, we need some comic relief for no real reason! We cut to Ichigo walking down the sreet when Keigo (remember him?) starts bugging him about sensing things. So naturally, he decides to freak the crap out of Keigo, sending him running out of the series until the Deicide Arc. Ichigo then runs to where he felt the Sword Beast and they have a little fight, while the Beast yells about "MY MASTER!" Hitsugaya then shows up to send the beast running and explain to Ichigo what's going on.

Later, at the Urahara shop, Kisuke is questioning Hitsugaya about these things when two familiar, sexy babes crash in; Rangiku and Haineko! Oh, how I missed your cleavages last episode! And they're even showing off pictures of them posing all sexy-like!

If I still had my laptop, I would so make this my wallpaper...
However, Hitsugaya's in buzzkill mode today, and shouts at them to knock it off. Meanwhile, in the Soul Society, Kyoraku and Ukitake are talking about the situation while playing some Japanese game I can't be bothered to look up, while Katen Kyokotsu is playing with them, and Sogyo no Kotowari are being annoying little bastards in the background again. God, I hate their voices. Kyokosu apparently wins, and Kyoraku gives her a brush or something as the Dynamically Annoying Duo bug Ukitake to play with them. And then (and I'm not making this up), Kyokotsu paints on Kyoraku's face as Ukitake draws on the floor. WAT.

...WHYYYYYYY?!

I really don't get the point of this scene. Is it because I'm not Japanese or because I apply logic to most things? Oh wait, I know the answer. It's the writer's attempts at being funny. Well, guess what, writers: YOU FAILED.

So, Kyoraku and Ukitake mention that it would be better if the Zanpakuto went back to sword form, and Kyokotsu and Sogyo no Kotowari start harming them for that. Thankfully, we cut to Rukia and Sodenoshirayuki talking about how Mayuri brought her back to normal. Turns out he somehow reversed the process Muramasa did to hypnotize them.

Back in the human world, that Beast Sword from earlier gets eaten by a Hollow as Hitsugaya and Hyorinmaru talk on top of a bridge for no reason. But enough of that, it's FANSERVICE TIME!!!

OH MY GOD, YES!
Unfortunately, instead of stripping each other and starting a lesbian threesome, a bunch of the characters just start to talk about how the Zanpakuto got turned back to normal. GODDAMMIT, TV-PG RATING! I WILL END YOU!!! We get some more unfunny moments for no real reason, and go RIGHT BACK TO THE FANSERVICE!!!!

THANK YOU GOD!!!
Then, we see them walking down a street as it starts to rain! In a normal world, this means their shirts getting wet would make them see through (y'know since they're white. Except Orihime, since she's wearing that damn vest thing... >_<), however THAT GODDAMN TV-PG RATING GETS IN THE WAY AGAIN!!! No, I'm not going to let it go! This used to be a show with tons of blood spilled all over the place and more cleavage and fanservice! I WANNA GO BACK TO THAT!!!

Okay, so that Hollow that ate the Beast Sword has somehow fused with it, and absorbed it's memories? I dunno, but it attacks the girls and before Rangiku can eat her Mod Soul candy, she gets shoved out of the way of a falling pillar by Haineko, who then gets choked to near death by the Hollow-Beast Sword-Thing. Then Ichigo shows up to stop it, earning him even more of my respect. He and Hitsugaya then proceed to kill it with the help of their spirits, and that's where the episode ends.

This was a much better episode than last week's, and I'm not saying that just because of the fanservice. It had better action, and Keigo made an appearance for the first time in almost a year (I personally find him and Nel's 'bros' to be the only funny comic reliefs). All in all, a decent episode. Well, only two more months of this bullshit before we get back to the actual plot. Thank the lord for that.

HBM, signing out!

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