Bleach Recaps Ep. 267: Stuff Happens Again

Hello, one and all! It is I, your glorious recapper for the evening, HeadBodyMaster. Now, Bleach is back to having an actual plot again, so yes, you can have that big "Bleach Is Finally Back To Having A Plot" party you haven't been planning, but my agents are forcing you to by gunpoint. Just a few notes: I only just started watching Bleach again last week, and 2. the new opening, chAnge, is quite inferior to the previous one, Anima Rossa. Alright, let's get this show off the road!
When we last left off about 9 months ago, the fights with the remaining Espadas were just starting: Kyoraku vs. Starrk, Ukitake vs. Lilynette*, Soi Fon and Lieutenant Fatass vs. Baraggan, Hitsugaya vs. Hallibel, and Ichigo vs. Ulquiorra. Meanwhile, outside the building Ichigo and Ulquiorra are in, Chad, Renji, and Rukia are fighting a bunch of generic Hollows, the Exequias, and their leader, Rudobone You'd think that we would get some epic fights right here. However, this is Bleach, which means it'll show us up to 5 minutes of badassery and the rest will be pointlessness and comic relief.

Take the opening of his episode, for example. We get about a minute of the fight between Ichigo and Ulquiorra, then cut to Chad and Renji fighting generic hollows just outside. We get some really pointless "comedy" scenes that result from Renji and Chad not knowing how to fight together, then Rudobone releases his Zanpakuto, making a tentacle wrap around his waste and he grows some roots and a wing or something out of his back.
I've seen enough hentai to know where this is going.
Inside, the badassery continues, as Ichigo seems to be on par with Ulquiorra, until the Ulq-meister pins our hero against the wall and point blank Cero's him in the most badass shot this show has had in a while!
Someone, please make an awesome wallpaper out of this shot. Right now.
Of course, we cut to Chad and Renji's reactions and subsequent fail moments. Renji reminisces about their training, but that's cut short, as that giant sand Hollow from when our heroes first entered Hueco Mundo about 150 episodes ago shows up! Actually, it's just a more powerful version who then get's Renji's sword... um, 'stuck' in him. It then... uh, gets 'pulled in deeper.' However, Chad is there to ...oh Jesus... 'pull it out.' How in God's name is this show now rated PG?!?!

We then see that, by the power of Plotkai, Ichigo is now strong enough to survive Ulquiorra's Badass Point Blank Cero of Doom (TM). Apparently the fight with Grimmjow about half the show ago toughened Ichigo that much up, even though in universe, it's only been about an hour or two since their previous fight.

Back at the uninteresting part, Chad tries to blow the sand monster to pieces, but, just like the other one, it regenerates. Unlike the other one, Rukia's preoccupied, so she can't just freeze it to death. Renji then gets the idea that I had been shouting at the TV to use since the sand monster showed up: BANKAI!

Random Pointless Shot of Badassery! :D
Meanwhile, elsewhere in Las Noches, we see Yammy surrounded by empty food containers as a dog hollow, apparently his Fraccion, is barking at him. Yammy yells at it, then decides to assist Ulquiorra. Back at Ichigo's fight, he sees that Ulquiorra's more predictable to him. He then catches Ulq's arm mid-swing and slices at him. As this is happening, Renji's Bankai finally manifested, however it proves just as useless as his Shikai. He attempts to blast Sandy with Hikotsu Taiho, but it blasts back with a Cero.

Meanwhile, we see that Ichigo's slash just barely hit, and some banter between the two. Back with Renji and Chad, it seems like they're screwed, but Chad summons his Brazo Izquierdo Del Diablo to use La Muerte on the beast. It nearly breaks Sandy in half, but just barely fails. However, Chad then tries again, but the monster stops the cracks sooner, and is just about to Cero Chad when Renji pops out of nowhere and obliterates it's head, completing the cracks, somehow destroying it. A bunch of hollows then show up, and we're pretty much back where we started.

Meanwhile, Ulquiorra's just getting serious when out of nowhere, just when he's about to deliver the death blow, Orihime puts a shield around Ichigo. And... that's where we end.

The shippers probably see this as a look of lust for either Ichigo or Ulquiorra.
I see it as a look of someone who know's they're gonna get bitch slapped, or
worse, for betrayal.
Well, this is actually a good way to get back into things after a massive recap! There was just enough of a balance between badassery and pointlessness, unlike certain other episodes (I'm looking at you, Amagai Arc!). Can't wait for the Espada to release!
HBM Signing Out!
* Okay, technically, Lilynette isn't an Espada, and she fails too hard for this to really be called a fight. However, there's a certain spoiler.


  1. hey uh. I have some news you might like.


    Teaser for a The World Ends With You Announcement.

    1. I've known since khinsider posted about it.

      If it's not an announcement for The World Ends With 2 (SEE WHAT I DID THERE?!) I'll be seriously pissed.


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