9/25/2012

Bleach Recaps Ep. 272: NO ME GUSTA

Hey guys. Once again, I'm sorry for the lack of a recap last week. Just kinda pissed off lately due to: new interface, Back to the Multiverse has been delayed, I want Phoenix Wright and UMVC3 but "MMMM, NO, TAXES", and, most importantly, SCHOOL EXISTS. GAH. This episode doesn't help, due to being the biggest tragedy in all of TV/Anime/Manga history, IMO.

By the way, if you missed last episode, Uryu attacked Ulq, Ulq broke Uryu's arm, Ichigo went Full Hollow* and went batshit on Ulq. Let's start.
Okay, so we start off focusing on the storyline that doesn't matter nearly as much; Rukia, Chad, and Renji vs. Rudobone and the Exequias. Chad tries directly attacking Rude, but the Bull Fighters have a hilarious defense to this: Literally make a wall of themselves to take the attacks.

But then you remove a side piece and it's JENGA!!!
So, Renji reminds us that Rukia said she'd handle Rudobone, and they put together a quick plan: Rukia uses Hakuren to freeze the wall, Chad makes a huge hole in the wall, and Renji finishes Rude off... and it works perfectly! Well, until Rude hack-spawns a dozen soldiers to attack Hihio Zabimaru. It seems that all is lost, when suddenly, Rukia uses the power of Plotkai to pull a previously unseen and unmentioned attack out of her ass to save the day!

This new power, Juhaku, freezes Rudobone from the roots to the branches, ending his reign of Cheat-Spawning, when suddenly, out of nowhere...

RAWR
Yeah, Yammy just shows up out of nowhere/The Void to murder Rudobone. I guess Rude gypped Yammy out of his $20... So anyway, Chad starts talking about how "Yammy was already big, but now he's twice as big as before." And those of us who have dirty minds just laugh our asses off at this part. Yammy then does a little DBZ power up, and Ichigo's Cero from the end of the previous episode explodes through the sky/dome. We're done here this episode.

Back on the Roof of Doom, Ulquiorra has been reduced to a torso, arm, head, and one wing from Ichigo's assholery. He then goes to decapitate my lil One Winged Angel, but Uryu tries to stop him saying "If you do this, you won't be human anymore!" Ummm... I think he stopped being human when he EXPLODED HALF MY FAVORITE CHARACTER'S BODY OFF, DUDE. However, Bullshitsigo's not done being a douche, and does this.

Oh, come on, this is getting ridiculous!

First, my favorite Arrancar, then my favorite Quincy**?! You're going too far, Ichigo. He then prepares to kill off Uryu, while Orihime has a little bitch-fit about how this is her fault. Um, I think this entire ARC is your fault, woman! Just shut your damn face already!! JESUS, just go back to the way you were in the Substitute-to-Bount Arcs***!

Thankfully, A somewhat healed Ulq shows up and slices off one of BullIchi's horns, making his Cero just explode and making him go back to normal. Ulq muses about his destroyed organs, when suddenly, by the power of Pikachu tears combined with the Heart of the Cards (or some shit like that), Ichigo's giant gaping hole is sealed and healed.

And so, we have our normal Ichigo back. He sees what he's done and is, as logic would dictate, horrified, when Ulq insists on finishing their fight. Ichigo yells that he'll only fight if he's in the same condition as Batman, who goes to make that happen, when suddenly...

NNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~!

NO! NO, KUBO! BAD! YOU DON'T KILL OFF SOMEONE AS AMAZING AS ULQUIORRA BY FUCKING DISINTEGRATION FROM WOUNDS THAT HE MOSTLY REGENERATED!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I... I can't do this. I refuse to describe my favorite character's death. Just view these three videos a trillion times each, and you have .0000000000000000001% of my reaction, minus the tears and crying and... I need to end this now.

HBM, signing out.










....Fuck you, Kubo.
---
*You never go Full Hollow.

GET IT? A TROPIC THUNDER REFERENCE?!

I AM MADE OF COMEDY GOLD!!!

**There are more Quincies than just Uryu's family. Read the manga to know what I mean.

Also, As Nodt is a dick and I praise Yamamoto for incinerating the bastard. Nobody, and I mean NOBODY, steals my favorite Soul Reaper's Bankai and uses it against him to the point that he's near death!!! I REFUSE TO ACCEPT MY BYAKY-POO'S DEATH!!!!!!! I'VE ALREADY LOST TOO MUCH AWESOME CHARACTERS IN FICTION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! T^T

***Thank you, Fullbringer Arc!

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