10/11/2012

Bleach Recaps Ep. 274: Tite Kubo Wrote This Series In A Cave... WITH A BOX OF SCRAPS!!!

Hello, children. You know what time it is? It's Recap time. OH BOY~!

Seriously though, it's getting a bit irritating doing this every fucking week. However, I will persevere! It's the best way to honor Bleach after that piece of shit Rock Lee show replaced it in Japan. Fuck you, Naru-fags.

Okay, so we pick up with Halliboobs and Hitsugaya kind of starting their fight up again. The force of this scares Lieutenant Fatass, which causes Soi Fon to kick him. Baraggan then goes into a random and unnecessary speech about how all the Espadas represent an aspect of death. I don't know what Kubo was trying to do here, but it sure as hell wasn't creative.

Anyway, the fight continues to heat up, and Boobibel seems to gain the upper hand by firing a wave of water at Hitsugaya. But then he freezes it, just like we would all expect. Hitsu goes into a speech about how this will basically be the entire battle and flings a Hyorinmaru at Hallibel. However, she then reveals that she can turn any form of water being used against her into her own power. Tittibel then proceeds to use this new water to attempt to kill Hitsu.

Fuck, bitch! Chill out!
Down on the ground, Izuru's inner commentary says what you would think: "WE'RE FUCKED WE'RE FUCKED WE'RE FUCKED WE'RE FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCKED!!!!" Hitsugaya then reveals that he created an ice shield and gets a lecture from Breastibel. We then get more of Hitsu using ice projectiles and Halli freezing them. But then Hitsu just appears behind her and freezes her. Like we're all thinking, it doesn't work.

We then cut to Shunsui vs. Starrk. Tony's* getting slightly more serious, but Shunsui's not impressed and asks him to use his Cero. Starrk, after a minute long mini-speech, starts CHARGIN HIS LAZER.

But Iron Man is supposed to fire them from his HANDS!
Meanwhile, Hitsu and Halli are continuing to fight, with Halli finally using her wide-ass Cero. Of course, this does "massive damage" to Hitsugaya, though he regenerates his wings and continues to fight. He's about to use his final attack when he finally notices Izuru, Wolfman, and the others on the ground, which is apparently close enough for them to take damage.

Hitsu tries to stall with his Sennenhyoro, but Hallitits breaks out easily. She then knocks him down and lectures him on sacrifice as he prepares for his final atatck. Apparently, Halli knocked him far enough away from the others for him to use it. We end on that.

Clearly, we're only getting to the good stuff with this war. Well, not as good as Ulq, but nothing will ever be in anime.

HBM, signing out.
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*SEE WHAT I DID THERE?!

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