4/30/2013

Bleach Recap: Eps. 292 - 295: Showers of Blood

So hey, we're back to this again. Y'know, this "once a month" thing is actually a lot easier on me. I can keep my creative juices flowing and not have to worry about getting this done on time; only at the end of the month! Anyway, let's get right to it.

Episode 292 picks up where 291 let off: Ichigo Kool-Aiding through the sky. He hits Aizen with some Getsuga, who seems to have taken some extreme douche pills for this episode as he put an extremely small shield around the area Ichigo targeted. Asshole then explains that it doesn't matter how powerful Ichigo is, or what the distance between them is, because Aizen's just too much. Then he does... this.

KUBO WHY
Yeah... so apparently Kubo ships AizIchi... okay then. Aizen explains that Ichigo has no reason to hate him, seeing that his friends are safe. Even though this is complete bullshit, since Aizen 1. Kidnapped Orihime, and 2. Is the cause for the entire plot. Anyway, the other Soul Reapers and Vizards show up and decide to protect Ichigo... even though he's more powerful than any of them, but whatever. Fight scene time GO. Hitsugaya talks about how Captains shouldn't raise their swords in hate or violence or whatever, then says he's going to do exactly that, and goes Bankai.

Episode 293 begins with Hitsugaya and Kyoraku double-teaming Aizen again. Then the others join in, but Aizen proceeds to lay the smack on a bitch as Gin narrates about his strength. Soi Fon talks with Ichigo about how fucked up everything is or something, and goes to try and double-stab Aizen. But guess what, "HEY IM BROKEN AS FUCK YOU CANT DO SHIT LULZ." Anyway, Kyoraku, Hitsugaya, and Shinji go through a plan to stab Aizen and it seems to work. But Ichigo as a lil freak out and...

WELLP
Everyone freaks out a bit and they attack Aizen, but nope, he's too broken. Aizen cuts down everyone and gives us his shit-eating grin.

Episode 294 begins with Yamamoto summoning a giant flame pillar and having a speech-off with Aizen. Then he gets stabbed and prepares to murder Aizen when Wonderweiss shows up.

BECAUSE PROPER ANATOMY IS STUPID RIGHT GAIZ
I have no words for whatever this is. And it's not just from how fucking stupid this looks, but also, what in God's name am I supposed to compare this to?! Anyway, Wondertard's release seals away Yamamoto's flames, but the old turd can still fight with FISTS. LIKE A REAL MAN!

Anyway, Yamamoto knocks the tard around then punches him with both fists at once, causing the special boy to... shatter. Anyway, then he explodes from the flames, burning Yamamoto to a crisp. Then Yamamoto blows himself up again to injure Aizen. I think we've reached the point of most What The Fuck moment for this arc. Anyway, Ichigo jumps out and episode end.

Finally, 295. So, Ichigo actually displays a brain cell or too by just throwing his full power at Aizen right from the start. It doesn't work, but it's the thought that counts. Anyway, Aizen has merged with the Hogyoku, allowing him to grow those blue veins Tony Stark had in Iron Man 2 and heal wounds. Then he tells Ichigo that he planned all his battles, and... the episode turns into a clip show.

From this moment on, it's just clips from some of Ichigo's most major battles: The Fishbone Hollow, his little competition with Uryu, the first 2 fights with Renji, the FUCKING AWESOME Kenpachi fight, and finally, the Byakuya Bankai vs. Bankai fight. So hawt.

Random shot of FUCKING EPIC
Oh yeah, and throughout this montage, we get clips of Aizen watching the episodes that these scenes came from. I like to imagine Aizen criticizing his own scenes in the show. "My hair isn't glorious enough in this shot." "Does this camera angle make my ass look fat?" Stuff like that.

Anyway, that's this month's episodes. Let's see what epicness May has to bring!

HBM, Signing Out!

No comments:

Post a Comment

Oh hai comments!